Today is the start of another new year and this time around we have Isabel here with us. She is a wonderful baby and such a joy to Ben, Ozzie, and I (well I hope Ozzie thinks so). So don't misunderstand my feelings for her as I go into this little rant of mine.
With each year of course there are the creations of optimistic New Year's resolutions. I don't know if this year is a year I want to make a list of resolutions or even attempt to. I feel that although Isabel is here with us and makes me really happy, I feel that 2008 is a year of upcoming hardships. I think these are obstacles that I've never faced before and feelings that I don't think I ever had.
One huge piece of news is that I AM returning to work. With the help of my family, it's possible for me to return to work and see if I can work out the whole "working mom" thing. I guess if I didn't then my decision to stay at home would had been SO much easier. I have mixed feelings about this of course with the larger portion of the "mixed" portion leaning to the disappointment that I have about returning to work. I don't mind work, it's not hard at all. I think the hard part is dealing with stupid crap as with all jobs, stupid people making stupid decisions and creating ridiculous reasons to do this or that. I think if we all cut out that part of our jobs we would be such happier and productive people. And then there is the absolutely ridiculous cost of living here in California that requires us to ignore our families just so we can make it by... somehow, this doesn't make any sense yet we do it everyday till the day we die.
One thing that I made me feel really guilty about returning to work was a little incident that happened today as I was surfing the web. I was looking for a play group, a moms group, any group that I could find in my area that I could take Isabel to so she can get some baby to baby interaction. Unfortunately, the cold hard reality was, um... mothers needed to be AVAILABLE during the day to take their babies to these activities. OKAY, a big strike for me and here comes the wave of guilt.
I guess in conclusion my only glimmer of optimism that I have is that hopefully something will work out this year. I don't know what it is but I hope it's good - Isabel is worth it.
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1 comment:
O don't feel bad. kids will learn social skills once they get into day care. besides they actually don't "play" w/ other babies anyhow. I just take my babies to the park.
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