Jessica's Visit

Jessica and I have been talking about her visiting me for quite some time now. Every time we make a date, someone usually ends up being sick or something happens that we end up just postponing. Not today! The weather worried me a bit since it was really cloudy in the morning but thank goodness it cleared up by noon.

We played indoors in the morning and after lunch headed outside. I had been worried that Izzy would be her clingy self but she surprised me and had a great time playing with Lexy and Sonny. She was happy and shared all her toys. I am so glad that she's finally gotten over her cling-t0-mommy-for-dear-life phase. I hope it lasts.

When friends are over, everything you do is a million times more fun. I can't believe how big Sonny has gotten! He's almost 6 months but he's almost as tall as Izzy and they wear the same size diapers! I think they're only 5lbs apart in weight. He's one sturdy little boy and to be Lexy's little brother, I think he can definitely manage!

Here are the girls relaxing. I'm so glad they enjoyed themselves. It was pretty funny to see both Jessica and I trying to manage with 2 kids each. We've come a long way from the Mervyn's days when we first met. Both of us were newly married and kids were far from our minds. Now we're toting 2 each... My have times changed!

Wiggles!

Izzy loves the Wiggles so when they came to San Jose last night, we were so excited! Since the new baby came, we wanted to make sure that both Ben and I took extra care in giving Izzy all the attention while she was with us by herself.

She got a Wiggles tee and a Dorothy hat. She was so excited to put them on!

She fell asleep in the car on the way home but woke up when we tried to put her in her bed. After that she got all her energy back and was showing her grandparents some dance moves. It was a really fun experience for the whole family and we would definitely take her again if they come back to SJ!

Izzy's Pool

This is a strange summer. It's mid July and we haven't seen the scorching temperatures that we're normally used to. I heard that during the week of June 27th (while I was in the hospital giving birth to Zoey), it was over 100 degrees so I guess everyone has experienced it except for me. It was finally warm enough for me to go out and get her a play pool.

Izzy LOVES water play. I don't get it how toddlers can stand the freezing cold temperature of water. They don't care at all when they're outside playing. I guess they just block it out mentally. Fun is more important the being cold!

Izzy relaxing because life is soooo hard for an almost two year old....

Ozzie and Izzy, BFFs. These two have become constant companions. Ozzie is such a tough guy that he pretends he doesn't like her but deep down, he adores her. Ben has told me that there are times when he just goes into her room in the middle of the night and just sits by her bed. We are so grateful that we got Ozzie first because Isabel would be insanely lonely if it weren't for him. Since Zoey arrived, we've noticed her desire to play with little sister. I love that I have a newborn and I cherish the time but I am also looking forward to seeing my girls play together too. Oh and I'm sure Ozzie is thrilled to want to play dress up with them in the future!

The Many Faces of Zoey

Over the course of my stay at the hospital when I had Zoey, I became a paranoid parent. With Isabel, I was more free and relaxed. I knew that I didn't want to be the mom who freaks out over every little thing. For some reason the time, when my recovery went sour, I became less confident of myself as a parent. I don't know what happened because Zoey was perfectly fine. I think it had to a lot to do with me losing control of my own health.

Zoey is absolutely precious and each day, the more time that I spend with her, the more I love her. It makes me sad to think that this tiny little baby is going to grow up so quickly so every minute that I have holding her is so valuable. I see how quickly Isabel is growing and if Zoey is my last baby, I want to treasure every second.

I think babies do laugh and have happy moments. People say that it's their facial muscles just reacting but somehow I think that when Zoey is done eating, she's content and knows it.

All of a sudden, my baby will turn into big girls like Isabel! It's miraculous to think that within the span of 2 years, that little 5lb 13oz infant will turn into a rambunctious toddler! How I adore my little girls!

Welcome Home

We're finally home after 4 days of craziness at the hospital. I am never going to think that one pregnancy is like another. Just when I think everything is working out fine, it turns out different. I don't know why I always expect everything to go smoothly. Maybe it's just a thing with me. I had no reason to think otherwise though. Anyhow at least all the issues are with me and not with Zoey so that's the important part. I am so glad that Ben is home with me. I think I would go insane if he were at work. Just being so immobile is frustrating. I don't know how many times I've broken down and thought that there's no way I can make it. I hope and hope that things will get better and if I can get better faster, that will make all the difference. I don't mind the nights and no sleep just as long as my health returns. Right now, I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I want to heal fast because not being able to pick up Isabel is so hard.

Zoey is soooo precious. She's so tiny it's nuts. I don't remember when Isabel was so small. Just looking between the two of them amazes me on their growth. Just less than two years ago, Isabel was Zoey's size. Wow, how they grow! Last night Ben took Isabel to do some shopping for her little sister. She picked out two items and gave them to her. It was super cute. I think Isabel is starting to understand who Zoey is.

Round Two

Early Saturday morning, 7:52 am to be exact, Zoey Elizabeth Bayani entered our lives. The c-section experience this time around was a million times better than the first. It wasn't that Isabel's c-section was bad or anything but I was not mentally prepared and was very scared. This time, although I was still scared (still major surgery!) I was mentally there. The team that performed the operation was beyond excellent so I had my full trust in them.

Then came the hard part...

After the c-section was done and I did a little time in the recovery room, I was taken to my room at the Mother and Baby area. At first it seemed like everything was going well. I was taking Morphine every 20 minutes or so to control the pain though an IV injection. Then around noon, my pain started to intensify. I wasn't sure if it was the Morphine not working or if the pain was just growing. I notified the nurse on duty who reassurred me that the Morphine should be working as I was taking it frequently enough. I told her that it wasn't working and I couldn't feel it working at all. The pain was growing into my chest and my shoulders at this point. They decided to hook me up to an automatic Morphine machine (I'm sure that's not the technical term) that would release doses which I could control. I was hoping that would help... Machine set up... waited... NOT WORKING! I was hoping that the machine was broken or something but nope, I had been taking large amounts of Morphine with no results. I'm only 5' tall weighing 117 lbs so all that Morphine should have seriously knocked me out. I was SO frustrated. All the way up to this point, I had been calm and collected, trying to breathe through my pain but when the machine ended up not working, I started to melt down. By the time 6pm rolled around I was absolutely unglued and completely upset. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breathe or speak. It was so frustrating trying to answer questions from nurses and doctors because I couldn't communicate effectively. At the same time, all the drugs running through my system made my hearing sensitive. It sounded like everyone was talking 100 times louder than normal and it was all muffled. My head was going to explode. No one could find out what was wrong. My doctor was baffled and called in other doctors/specialist to help but no one could figure out what was going on. They thought it could be internal bleeding since my surgery was tougher than normal but my bloodwork was fine. By this time I had a fever so they thought it could have been an infection inside the stomach.... In the end my doctor concluded that she would have to perform a 2nd surgery to go in and find out where the problem was. I would have to have an epidural and be completely knocked out. Surgery was the last option that Ben and I had wanted so it scared the hell out of us. As they prepped me for surgery, my doctor made a few more calls and another surgeon told her that I should receive a CT scan before I go under. I already had the epidural placed which is totally painful so I didn't care what happened at this point. After the scan they didn't see anything wrong so surgery take off the plate. Since the epidural was alleviating my pain, they used that to control the pain and for 24 hours I couldn't eat, drink, or move at all. Sunday was a total blur, totally drugged up. By Monday I was still under a lot of narcotics but feeling better and was encouraged to walk. The doctors final conclusion (they're still not sure) was that my intestines had a kink in it and was blocked during the surgery so nothing could get through my system. It just kept ballooning which escalated the pain. I am still not sure what went on but I know it was serious. Ben was really upset throughout the process but remained strong for me. I could tell he was getting angry at everyone for not figuring out what was wrong. Till now, he thinks that there were 3-4 different things going on with me at the same time which made it hard for the doctors to treat me. Ben says that he has never seen me in that state of pain before. All the nurses on the floor were notified of my condition so as I'm in recovery, they've all been extremely sensitive to my needs. My picture of what went on is still really fuzzy so I'm not sure if I caught all the details but all in all, I have a perfectly healthy little girl so I'm grateful for that. OMG to Ben because I really lost it and he was there 100% for me. I have never believed so hard in my marriage vows as I did this weekend! Now I need to just get better and return the care to my wonderful family.

Congratulations to Daddy!

After working so hard the last couple of years, Ben finally graduated from his masters program at Santa Clara University! It has been a tough journey with long hours and a full time job but he managed to successfully pull it off. During that time we had Isabel too so not only was he going to class but also coming home to a newborn. Let us just say how glad we are that he's done!

I have to say that I am in awe of Ben's resiliance and dedication to what he wants to achieve in life. I knew that I was marrying someone who was similar to me but I think in the last several years of us being together, he has definitely shown to be much more driven than I. When he wants something, he will do whatever it takes to get it. It's absolutely wonderful to be married to someone who has goals and aspirations and to know that there are results, not just talk. I'm so happy for Ben that his hard work has paid off and he's found a job he really enjoys. Maybe we are just two people who are very mature in life but I'm so glad we're at this point of our lives. Somtimes it can be tough but when I look back at what we've accomplished, I am so proud to be married to him. I am sure that this is definitely not and end but another beginning for our family.

Izzy and daddy celebrating after daddy's name was called. She was so good during the first hour and a half. Around 8:30-9pm, she started to get antsy since it was way past her bedtime.

Keeping Izzy occupied with cookies!